Heart Opening Writing Session

Before I get into this entry, I should note that I attend weekly yoga classes and meditate frequently. I recently asked my instructor for poses to boost fertility, and have been doing those somewhat faithfully, but I didn't ask for any advice to create this recent experience.

Yesterday I tried doing something that I haven’t done in a while. A technique that was probably introduced to me in an English class in high school. I did what is called Free Writing. I knew I had a lot on my mind that I just didn’t know how to get out, so opened a blank iWeb template and just started writing. Like contents in a bowl when it is tipped, my thoughts started to trickle out one by one. The first drops were solitary words and transformed to emotions I was feeling and later short phrases. Turned out, the first things written were the most prominent ideas in my mind. I found the further I tipped the faster my thoughts rolled out and the worse my spelling and grammar became. On an unconscious level I knew spelling and grammar weren’t important because the task was spilling the contents of my thoughts in the order they came out. My thoughts flowed smoothly after a while. No real clear distinction of where one began and the other ended. It was as good conversations go, touching on one topic while smoothly transitioning to a related topic. I won’t bore you with the actual work because it is very raw and ragged, but I will let you know it was about trying to conceive and fertility.

Eventually, something inside me took a deep breath and ceased. My thoughts just stopped. I noticed I had become a bit emotional through the process and noticed a warm feeling in the center of my chest. Like a golden sphere radiating warmth and happiness had been surgically placed underneath my ribcage. Think Iron Man and his arc reactor but under the skin. I have had this sensation few times in my life and was curious as to what it could be. Frequently in meditation we fold our hands in prayer pose at heart center, which also happens to be where the fifth or heart chakra is located. I did a quick google search and discovered my heart chakra was likely open. With the feelings of love and wellbeing, I promptly performed some yoga poses for fertility and went to bed.

I unintentionally imposed a therapeutic writing session on myself, but hey, I’m not complaining. Would you?