Going Stir-Crazy Here

The two week wait. Those three little words alone can mean a time of both heart pounding excitement and hair pulling misery for any woman trying to conceive. Personally, I’m kind of wedged in between those two. I don’t get as emotionally invested as I once did, because after so many high hopes that came crashing down, you learn to take this time with a grain of salt -- or the whole salt shaker. After 8 months of trying and charting I think I finally have a grip on this thing. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have faith that this month is “the month” it’s going to happen, because I do. I believe whole heartedly that God has his hand in this and that it will happen. I also have faith in myself and my body, though I have had a lot of fears as well. But this isn’t what I really want to talk about.

I want to talk about what I’m going through this very moment. At nine days past ovulation I am having some symptoms. I usually have symptoms every cycle post-ovulation, but this cycle is different. For once, I actually had a positive OPK, so the whole pregnancy idea is even more real, more of a possibility. Setting myself up for disappointment? Maybe. Low cramps were the first thing that tipped me off two days ago at seven days past ovulation. They felt very similar to ovulation cramps and enough to make me want my heating pad. I’m not too concerned because I usually have one day of mid-luteal phase cramps. Then on eight days past ovulation I added fatigue onto my mild cramping, which is normal as well. Today on nine days past ovulation, I have some breast tenderness, which is once again normal.

And, for those that record their BBT, I’m about to add more to this list. On the morning of day eight, I experienced a lower temperature than the rest. This morning it bumped right back up to usual temps. If it stays elevated, I could have an implantation dip. Random dips in temperature happen from time to time and don’t necessarily mean a pregnancy chart. Once again, I’m stuck in the it could be, but it couldn’t be stage. Have I mentioned how much I hate the two week wait?

Since I chart I can look back and see that these things are normal for me. Which makes me sad because they can also be early pregnancy signs. See how easy it is to get psyched up? Perhaps I am too optimistic, but I took an ept when I came home from work today and got a BFN. No hard feelings though, because it is really rare to have enough hCG in your urine this early. I’m going to skip testing tomorrow at ten days past ovulation. Waiting til at least eleven days is smarter, yet still early. Hey, I bought a huge bargain pack of ept’s off Amazon just for this reason. I know I’m not alone in this.

Still hoping and praying.