Angels Appear in the Darkest Hours

If you're human, you've experienced so much fear about an impending situation, and you knew it was irrational.  Yet you couldn't stop your self from thinking about all that could go wrong and how awful it would be.  Basically imagining the worst possible situation.

That's how I was before I got my last two wisdom teeth out today.  Yep, you heard me.  I've been through the procedure before.  I had my bottom two out when I was fifteen.  Now, ten years later, the top two had to come out because they were growing sideways and crowding my upper molars.  Not pleasant.

The sane part of me knew I had done this before and I obviously survived, but the other less-sane part of me was terrified of going under the anesthesia.  I was afraid of not waking up.  I was afraid of waking mid-operation.  I was afraid of what I would do while under, because I would have zero control.  All these things could happen, but happen very rarely, so I was at very low risk.  Considering I've been under before without complication, I honestly had little to worry about.

When it was time to take me back for the extraction, a young woman in teal scrubs called me back.  I laid down in the lab chair which was halfway between sitting and laying.  It felt odd because I wanted either to be sitting upright or laying down.  She looked at my file and asked me about any allergies and confirmed who was here to drive me.  Then she began sticking the circle patches to my chest to monitor my vitals.  A steady beep let me know my heart was beating.  She strapped a small mask over my nose, said she was going to start the nitrous oxide before the IV to relax me a bit, and instructed me to breathe through my nose.

I heard a hiss and felt cool, sweet scented air stream out the tubes.  She looked at my file once more and asked how long I had been trying to have a baby.  "Almost a year" I replied.  She explained that she had tried for three years to get pregnant with her husband.  She went through fertility treatments, even IVF, with no successful pregnancy.  They eventually divorced, though she never said why.  Then recently, her doctor had her switch birth control and during the period where she wasn't on any, she got pregnant  from her boyfriend.  She hadn't thought it was possible because she tried for so long.  She now has a ten month old little girl and is the light of her life.

She then told me she knows what it's like to get disappointed and depressed because she was there.  She also said she prayed and had faith, but God hadn't wanted her to have a child when she wanted one.  And when she finally did get pregnant, it happened in his time.

After she said those words, I felt a welling up of joy inside me and had to hold back tears.

She went to my right side to the IV drip ready and left the room.  I thought about what she had said as the nitrous made me feel light.  When she returned she asked how I was feeling.  I asked her if it was normal to feel light.  She said yes and that she could turn it down if I wanted.  It didn't really matter to me at that point so I didn't answer.  She then said she was going to put the IV in me.  I pulled my arm out and squeezed my clammy fist while she stuck it in my hand.  A dizziness washed over me and she laid the chair back all the way.  

She asked if I was feeling loopy yet and I nodded yes.  My eyelids felt heavy and my body nearly weightless, I looked up at her and asked "Who are you?".  She smiled and said "Ang" and notified me the doctor would be in shortly to start my IV.  The doctor touched my shoulder and asked how I was doing.  I told him "fine" then I dreamed of laying under a golden sky.

I honestly believe I was visited by an angel, or messenger of God today.  The events that happened in that doctors office before I went under all line up too well to be coincidence.

First, she went into detail about her ttc journey.  She did not have to ask or even share that information with me.

Second, I was compelled to ask "Who are you?".  Who asks this when you know very well that she is a nurse or assistant.  And I could have asked her name, but I didn't.

Third, her response was "Ang", which is probably short for Angela or Angelina.  Wikipedia says Angela is a female given name. It is derived from the Greek word ángelos (αγγελος), meaning "messenger of God".